Imagine you and your girlfriends at your local round table on a Friday night, talking about everything from politics to love and sex. Without even thinking twice, your girl spills the beans specifics about how good (or bad) her man is in the sack. The rest of you try not to make eye contact, but you’re all thinking the same thing: Why’d she tell us that? *Eyebrow raise*
When you’re part of a dynamic circle of friends, it feels natural to tell them everything, especially when it comes to your man. There’s nothing like feeling comfortable with friends you love and they love you back. Besides, a little girl talk never harmed anyone, right?
My friends and I share all types of things with each other: our dreams, future wedding plans, families, finances, “baby daddies”, school, etc. The best part about spilling the teas is that we’re each other’s confidante and are constantly in the “No Judgment Zone”! Still, there are some things we keep to ourselves, and specifics on sex are one of them. Not because we don’t trust each other, but because some things are just off limits. (And I’d prefer not to picture my girls doing only God knows…or vice versa. *Chuckle*)
Women are naturally more talkative than men. And emotion usually comes with all that extra talking. A slip here and there is fine. Minor details won’t hurt either. But regardless of how close you and the crew are, no one needs to know the angle of his curve or how he mounts up.
The next time you’re about to tell too much, imagine if you’d be cool with his guy friends knowing where your birthmarks are and if your nick name is Becky! Just got real, didn’t it? Keep this list of don’t tells in mind pre round table Friday night.
- Nicknames. His real name is Jamal. But after your girl told you how serious he is about sex aliases, you can’t help but want to call him Daddy Dollaz or Mr. Strong! To spare those shake-your-head moments, warn your girl that you’re not interested in knowing what he likes to be called (or what she likes to be called).
- Domination/Fetish. By day, your girl’s man is an aspiring Math teacher. Now, you know by night, his weird foot fetish and like for whips and chains consume all her time. There’s nothing he can say to make you look at him the same. The worst part is he doesn’t even know it!
- Past Chicks. When it comes to your girl telling you about who her guy last slept with, tell her the only important ones are actual ex-girlfriends. Knowing about his side pieces is unflattering and disgusting if there are several.
- Places of Action. There’s nothing wrong with spontaneity every now and then. It’s the spice that keeps relationships alive. If your girl and her current guy tend to jack rabbit all over town, ask her to spare how many locations she gives you, to spare you altogether or wait a few years to lessen the impact. If done otherwise, you’ll never look at a Wal-Mart or Books a Million the same again.
- Love songs. Imagine you all are cruising down the highway, headed to your next girl’s road trip destination and Beyoncé’s Bow Down (a non “sex me” type song anyway) blasts through the speakers. Everyone’s bouncing and dancing to that part about little girls wanting “the life” when all of a sudden home girl kills the vibe about “that time” when they did this and that to this part. Like #4, there’s nothing wrong with this; sex music is wonderful. Just understand that you may never listen to the song, or the artist, the same!
Written by Ariel Williams