What’s Your Love Style?

Love, in and of itself, is very complex. Love is defined in different ways. Love exists in different ways. Love is expressed in different ways.

Often, many of us get frustrated in our romantic relationships without realizing that our idea of love is completely different from how our partner shows and wants to experience love.

Below are the six most common love styles. These definitions could explain why your significant other wants to be around you all of the time, or why they take forever to text you back.

 

Eros

This love is a passionate physical and emotional love. (Think lust and erotic desire.) This love deals with physical attraction and the need to satisfy, create sexual contentment, security and aesthetic enjoyment in the relationship. It’s the heated, romantic kind of love usually found at the beginning of serious courtship and relationships.

 

Ludus

This kind of love is about companionship. The ideal situation is finding activities to participate in together, and seeking fun and excitement for one another. It’s about having having a playmate: someone to accompany you on life’s adventures. Think in terms of non-exclusive dating; Love is a game, and there are more than two players.

 

Storge

This love defines affection that slowly develops from friendship. (Think “taking it slow.”) The bond is created through similar interests and getting to know one another over time. This eventually leads to a strong partnership, lasting commitment and familial support.

 

Pragma

This love is a love that is driven by reciprocity, as in, “I can do this for you; what can you do for me?” Often, this love creates relationships based on money, business or working toward a common goal. In other words, those who adhere to this kind of love think in terms of what’s practical, logical or makes sense for their personal or family goals. It has nothing to do with feelings from the heart.

 

Mania

This love is strictly romantic. It’s about feeling a deep, spiritual connection to someone. Present in long-term relationships, this love focuses on the highs and lows of the couple, their significance in each other’s lives, and the “special place” they have in one another’s heart. People who have this type of love may also be obsessive, possessive and jealous in the relationship.

 

Agape

This kind of love is unconditional love. Whether or not the love is ever reciprocated, the person who subscribes to this method continues to give without expecting anything in return. They may never benefit from giving this love, but it doesn’t stop them.

 

Do any of these resonate with you? What’s your love style?

 

Raena, Editor-in-Chief 

 

Bart Baker’s ‘Anaconda’ Parody: What’s Wrong With It?

500x500It’s been more than a week since Bart Baker released his ‘Anaconda’ parody via YouTube. Captioned as his “favorite parody to date,” the video actually exposes his amusement in slut-shaming.

People have been posting and sharing the parody video all over social media with obvious disgust at the many inaccuracies and social injustices of the song. So exactly what is wrong with the parody?

The content of the video can be analyzed from different angles:

a.) The humiliation and degradation of the Black woman

Yes, Black women are known for having big butts. Who doesn’t know this already? But to go as far as saying that a Black woman’s rear end is her “greatest asset” is pathetic. I won’t give a history lesson today, but I think I speak for a vast majority of Black women when I say that we are human beings, not objects. Furthermore, expressing our sexuality doesn’t make us any more inferior than the people who shame us for it.

Honestly, the Black woman who even agreed to portray Nicki Minaj in this parody ought to feel disgusted with herself… Unless, of course, she’s a Nicki hater. But that still doesn’t justify the fact that she willingly participated in shaming another Black woman.

b.) The humiliation and degradation of women PERIOD.

I’m sure Nicki Minaj isn’t the only woman who has had plastic surgery, and plastic surgery isn’t a “Black woman thing.” The reasons women surgically alter their appearance are endless; however, it doesn’t make them any less of a woman, and it doesn’t mean that they should be made to feel bad for their choice.

Also, it is not a crime for ANY woman to express her sexuality.

c.) The evolution of entertainment.

You can always tell if a crowd is entertained by a performer based on their reaction. The audience might laugh or applaud, but a performer knows what the people want to see. It just so happens that in this day and age, big butts and twerking are what the people want to see.

Once upon a time, twerking was a “stripper” thing, but now, you can walk into any house party, put on some old Juvenile, and everyone will get low.

d.) The big booty phenomenon.

Think about it: almost everybody on T.V. has a big butt, whether natural or surgically enhanced. Iggy Azalea and JLo recently came out with that “Booty” song (and everybody has been talking about JLo’s booty since Selena.) Beyonce has a fatty. Kim K. has a fatty. Amber Rose has a fatty. Shoot, who doesn’t have a fatty?

The point is, there’s nothing wrong with making a song about big butts. Again, I won’t give a history lesson, but I’m pretty sure big butts were the inspiration behind Bootylicious.

e.) The double standard in the music industry.

Okay. So how come Li’l Wayne can rap about “coconut derrieres,” but Nicki Minaj isn’t allowed to rap about the one she has… On her own body… ? It’s okay for men to say stuff like “bend it over, touch your toes, shake that a** for me” We’ll still dance and download the song. But a woman can’t talk about how she “got a big, fat a**” without being seen as a “slut.” WTF.

 

I have to agree with the general public. Overall, this song was rude and offensive, and Bart Baker is a misogynistic freak. I don’t even think you can call this a “parody.” I sure as hell wasn’t laughing.

Watch the video below:

How To Have Fun As A Commuter

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College is said to be the best four years of your life. However, if you don’t live on campus it can make things a bit difficult. Often times, simply going to class and then driving back home is not enough to gain the full college experience. Although commuting to school can be annoying, it doesn’t have to be terrible. Many commuter students make the mistake of not taking the time to familiarize themselves with the campus and miss out on the full college experience. If you are a commuter or plan to be a commuter, here are some ways to stay involved.

  1. Attend Campus Events. Attending campus events is an excellent way to meet new people and also see what the school has to offer. Most times there are programs that have free food and fun activities.
  2. Join Organizations. Joining organizations is the easiest way to become more involved. There are many different organizations and usually there is at least one that fits your liking. Joining an organization is also great to put on your resumé especially if you hold a leadership position.
  3. Greek Life. A great way to meet new people is becoming involved in Greek Life. By being involved in greek life, there is a whole new group of people that you meet and you all share a connection. Greek life is definitely not the only way to become involved.

If you are having trouble making friends as a commuter then these tips will definitely solve your problem. Don’t forget to try to make friends in classes and make an effort to socialize with others. College is what you make it so get out of you comfort zone!

Importance of Professional Attire

Throughout your years of being a college student you capture the importance of professional dressing as it sets you aside from the average person. Just by wearing something professional to one of your classes could influence the professors first expression of you. Being professional signifies respect and also your professors will take you seriously as an individual.

What people should understand is that nothing in this world is given to you and in order to stand out you have to be and look beyond the norm. If your school has professional dress days that are during the week you definitely should take advantage of it because it is preparing you for the real world. Most jobs these days require you to come to work in business casual or business professional clothing. For males it would be good to have a black, navy blue, or grey suit. As for females it would be good for you to have a least a black or neutral blazer suit to represent your professionalism. Another good thing to professional dressing is that it opens up doors for job opportunities. For example, you get approached by an employer who is looking for someone to represent their company and just because the way you present yourself he wants to offer you a job. There is an easy job opportunity that you didn’t have to go out an look for but because you were dressed professionally you are able to to take advantage of the opportunity.

The way you dress carries certain messages to those who meet you, which goes back to what I said earlier of how it sets you aside from the rest. Those people you meet will continue the trend of dressing professionally and we will have a mass group of successful looking people.

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– J’quan Freeman, Staff Writer

“20 Beautiful Women,” 20 Powerful Stories, Endless Inspiration

SONY DSCThere’s a new novel in town! “20 Beautiful Ladies” is an inspiring compilation of stories from 20 different women from all walks of life. These ladies came together to share their deepest and most emotional circumstances with readers in the efforts to provide hope for others. Each lady has a unique story to tell that many can relate to.

We had the chance to speak with the co-author of “20 Beautiful Women,” Jennifer Wilkes. We chatted with her on her latest project and the upcoming Book Launch Celebration for this novel.

Everything Exclusive: So, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Jennifer Wilkes: I’m from Florence, South Carolina originally. I’ve been in Atlanta for almost 5 years now. I started in Broadcast Journalism; I’ve always been in Communication and leadership roles in school with Journalism, the newspaper, and our high school news. But, I was a radio personality in South Carolina on two prime time stations on the weekends; I had my own show and I also worked for a State Senator with community relations. So, I’ve always just been involved in all things communication and that pushed me to really focus in on creating my own business. I saw that there were some weaknesses in some of the companies that I worked for that I could contribute to; building them and making them more effective. So, after graduating high school, I went to Voorhees College, an HBCU. My sophomore year is when I became pregnant with my daughter and transferred back home, then I just finished out there. What brought me to Atlanta was my girlfriend who worked out here and lived here. One of her friends needed an assistant for his company, an independent music company. That’s how I ended up moving to Atlanta; to help build or restructure their music company. It was a lot of growth while I was there, but things had to change and I just moved on. I was great learning experience because there I learned how to start my own business. I learned the do’s and dont’s’ with professionalism and creating my own marketing. It helped me learn how to spearhead my own business. 

EE: I see that you have a book signing coming up for a book that you’ve recently had published entitled, “20 Beautiful Women.” Can you tell me a little bit about the context of the book?

JW: I was approached about the project, I think, in the beginning of the summer. I was approached by Saba Tekle and she actually lived in Atlanta for awhile, but now she’s in Seattle. We had mutual friends on Facebook and she does life coaching, so we just kind of connected. We were elaborating on things that we could work together with and she said, “Oh well, I have this project that I would really love for you to come in on. I’m doing a book and I want to get 20 women to share their personal stories or something in their life that was really transformational for them.” So, I was very, very honored to do that. I think I was one of the last few ladies to come on to the project. It’s been a great, great journey and all of the women were from different countries, different states. We all have completely different backgrounds; however, we all shared commonalities in our stories whether we went through some type of hardship or pain that brought us to living out our purpose. So, even though we all are different, we all speak to every woman in the book. We’re different ages, but we all have a story that I think appeals to whoever reads the book, really.

EE: What were some of the challenges you faced while composing this book, if any?

JW: I would say my biggest challenge was to really decide how deep I wanted to go. When you’re sharing something that’s very personal and you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, sometimes it can be difficult to know like “do I want to tell all of this or do I want to tell a part of this.” Other people are affected by your story as well, but you can’t deny your experience of it. So, that for me at first was a bit of a challenge, but I had to really just kind of say, well this is my experience, mine, no one else’s. I can’t speak for whoever else is involved. They have their own and if they want to write a book, they can write a book, but this is my part. For me, that was very liberating.

EE: Was there ever a time where the process of getting 20 women together to share personal stories became challenging or very emotional?

JW: Well actually I didn’t spearhead it; Saba Tekle spearheaded it. So, she spoke with the ladies about their stories and helped all of us to really cultivate exactly what we wanted to say. She really helped to pull it out of each of us, I would say. Reading the book, I would probably say what would have been a difficult process was really allowing each of the women to have their own voice. Of course there was editing, but still you get a sense of who the woman is and where she comes from by her language and just how she formulates her words. So, I think the book in itself is an art form because it really shows how women can come together and still have their different personalities and their uniqueness.Jennifer Wilkes

EE: What inspired you to become involved with the book? Was there any specific driving force behind the project? 

JW: What inspired me to really agree to the project, I would say… When Saba approached me, I was actually in the mist of publishing my own solo project and it was kind of a struggle because I was thinking, well I have my solo project out and I don’t want this to overshadow what I’m trying to put out because it’s a part of my business. But, I knew I wanted to tell my story and it could be told. Because I’m a life coach I do tell my story, but it’s different when you can reach so many people with a book as well. So, I had to kind of weigh my options; do I push my book on the back burner? What my book is about… It’s not totally different, but it’s on a different subject matter. However, still related, I guess you would say. It’s not so personal. For me, it was an opportunity to really get published quickly because Saba was really doing all of the back-in work which was a very great advantage to have her doing most of the back-work. So, it was like okay well, I’ll go ahead and do it; I need to tell my story and it’s great to network with all of these women and then to work with women in different parts of the country. Being a coach you just never know where business is going to take you and having those connections in different areas was something that I just couldn’t pass up. 

EE: So, you mentioned that you are working on another project at this time. Can you tell me a little about that?

JW: Yes, it’s actually called “5 Ways to Conquer Chaos,” the extended version. The ebook is actually available on my website, http://www.thecoldcoach.com for free. It’s just a quick-read; it was written in a weekend, basically. It includes 5 methods that help you to overcome any type of chaos or dysfunction in your life. They’re quick steps that ANYONE can use, but definitely for the college student, high school student, whoever, the mom who’s doing everything. It’s just really 5 quick methods that’ll help you to really come back to yourself and bring things to some type of order. So, like I said the ebook is available on my website, it’s the shorter version. It’s free; however, the extended version is going to come out before the year is up. So, it’s “5 Ways to Conquer Chaos.” photo (2)

EE: Personally, have you witnessed a situation where this book has helped a reader through a life circumstance?

JW: With the reviews that I’ve read, especially from men, I would say that they appreciate that they are able to get insight into what women are thinking and these life situations. They’re able to understand more and sympathize with us more on what we’re really feeling and what’s going on. So, I know women are going to get something from it, I know that without a shadow of a doubt. But, for men to be affected by it, to me it’s very powerful. It’s a great movement to me to have men that have read it to say, “Wow! I just didn’t know it was that deep.” or “Was it really that serious?” You know, they really understand where we are coming from, I think. And I want to clarify, it’s not bashing any men or anything, but it’s really showing what we’ve learned about ourselves through those circumstances. 

EE: So, about the book signing that you are hosting, what are the details for that event?

JW: It’s October 4th at Infusion Bistro, I’m very thankful to them for offering their space to me. Some of the ladies are going to fly out and some of them are going to read from their chapters. So, we will have book readings, definitely a book signing. So, whoever buys a book or if they pre-ordered it, they can come and get their book signed by me and all of the other authors that will be there. Michael McFadden from “Real Talk With Michael McFadden” will be there. He has an internet radio show in Atlanta. He’s going to be one of the guest speakers. He actually was the first one to have most of us on his radio show to talk about the book. So, we’re very grateful to him. We’re also going to have a panel discussion where our guests can ask the authors who are there questions about our life, our chapters or whatever they want to ask; it’s an open panel discussion. We may have some poetry. 

EE: Where can this book be purchased?

JW: You can purchase it at my website, http://www.thecoldcoach.com. There you can purchase the hard copy, it’s available for pre-order right now, but it will be available October 1st. The ebook is already available; it’s already on Amazon and Barnes & Nobles.

EE: Thank you for your time. I am looking forward to reading this book and attending your book signing!

Atlanta

To find out more about “20 Beautiful Women” and the upcoming book signing, visit Jennifer Wilkes’ website at http://thecoldcoach.com/ or follow the event on the Facebook page, “’20 Beautiful Women’ Altanta Book Launch Celebration. Do not let this great opportunity to gain inspiration and network with others who can relate pass you by! This book is definitely a must-read that you should add to your collection!

Interview conducted by Michaela C., Editor of College Life

Rowdy Roommates..

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The college experience is supposed to be a great one, but what happens if your place of residence is a living inferno? You’ve prayed and prayed and nothing has worked. You’re about to lose your Christianity and go thug life on your roommates? What steps should you take next? Trust me I’ve been there and there is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable in your place of residence. Here are some tips to help improve your living and learning environment:

  1. Communicate

If you are any uncomfortable situation in life communication is the key. No one has the ability to read minds (that I know of), if you have a problem with what someone is doing, TELL THEM. You also have to take into consideration that you and your roommate(s) come from different backgrounds and maybe their social norms aren’t like yours. Talk about your expectations of your living environment, this will help to establish a system the works for everyone.

  1. Put Out the Fire Before it Starts

If you see something that annoys you more than twice, it is probably best you to go ahead and discuss it with your roommate. This will help you to not be a tea kettle that isn’t letting out any steam. (It will eventually explode) Not talking to your roommate will make the situation worse.

  1. Outside Intervention

If all else fails, then use an outside source to solve your problem. There is only so much that someone can take of another person not being compliant with reasonable guidelines. Most colleges have a residential assistant or RA. The residential assistant should be used to help mediate the situation. Maybe the RA can even suggest a room change for you.

Hopefully some of these tips can help for you! Happy living!