Dear “Middle children”: The struggle was (maybe still is) real

Growing up and learning new lessons is tough I tell you,  like what to wear and what not to wear, who to date, and why you shouldn’t slap your co-workers (the list goes on) is already tough, but come on… We all know who has the toughest time growing up– Middle children.

So you have the big one, little one, and oh yeah sorry, I forgot.. The Middle one! In my case There was the big sibling, 2 middle children (imagine how that went), and then the baby. Has there ever been  a time in your life where you felt that maybe you didn’t receive enough attention or love? Well of course, you’re the what? Middle kid.

Along with not feeling “loved enough” by our parents, some other struggles of being a middle child are:

  1. Whenever there is a lead position whether it be at work, school, or friendship circles you probably didn’t feel validated enough to take on the lead because growing up you were just “floating around” in limbo while “the noble” older sibling took the lead and you followed along because it was your duty as the younger sibling, as much as it was the birth right of the older kid to take charge. At work when it was my first day being shift manager I stuttered the whole time trying to tell people what to do, no one told me it would be that hard! And by a lucky guess my boss said “You must be a middle kid.” Haha. Not.
  2. Sometimes you feel forgotten because the two end children are always taking the spotlight with their achievements, incessant whining over who knows what (usually the end kid does this), or just because they stole every bit of talent from your parents DNA and show them off. My oldest sister was always at the top in academics and parents were oh so proud, and me.. well the proudest my parents could have been of me at that time was waking up early for school.But I did take up playing violin.. why did I mention that?It doesn’t matter.
  3. Even being around your group of friends you feel “forgotten”. Especially if most of your friends are end children, which in my case, they were (or either only children). Their loud, obnoxious.. I mean outgoing personalities over-shadowed your abilities to be the life of the party or crack the joke everyone would still be laughing about the next day. Somehow you manage to float, but still seem like a background character. Once when my friends and I went out to subway, my friends who is an oldest sibling was buying lunch for everyone. He comes back to the table baring sandwiches and gives them to everyone, everyone’s enjoying their food (who coincidentally were end children) … Except for me! He forgot to buy me a freakin’ sandwich. I said, “Really Phillipe, because I wasn’t in the passenger’s side of your car when we drove here.” “Oh sorry,” he said. “I forgot.” I wanted to kick him in the balls.
  4. Again, as I mentioned in #3.. End children usually have HUGE personalities that make everyone want to sit with them! Usually these big things get in the way of the little personalities left to us middle children. Well FYI I know many middle children with abundant personalities.. It’s just that the big mouthed end pieces talk too much. Funny enough, that’s how my little sister (an end piece) got to be known as “The thing that won’t shut up, jr.” (my mom is #1.) Let us shine for once. Geez.
  5. Your parents love the end ones more than you. Maybe. Most likely. They say they don’t, but parents lie too. I remember a coworker telling me how one time he didn’t study for a test and asked his mom if he could miss school that day. She told him that the show must go on, and that maybe he’ll learn to study next time. He toughed it out and ended up with a C (not bad, eh?), but a week later his big brother who didn’t study for a test asked to miss school. Guess what? His mom let him miss school… You can only imagine how betrayed my coworker felt by his own mother dear. Don’t worry my friend, us middles know how that feels on occasion. Ouch.
  6. This isn’t another struggle. I just want the Malcolm in the middle, Alex Dunphy’s and others alike of the world to know that you matter and that of course your parents love you. Plus, I read a study that said middle children are more successful because being the “under-dog” they have more drive to achieve greatly at things. All Hail Middle children.
  7. Here’s a link of successful middle children (deserved or not) right here —-> http://m.wonderwall.com/movies/celebrity-middle-children-26006.gallery?photoId=118283

Life: 7 Things To Remember

joyLife.

Such a precious gift, but it is often taken for granted. Or taken too seriously. Or is treated with apathy.  While things won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, it’s important to note that life can be enjoyable, and it all starts with how you approach it.

Here are 7 things to remember about life:

1.) The day you’re born is the only time when you’ll be “perfect.”

Nothing is more true than this! When you’re born, everything is pure: your mind, your body, your spirit, your soul. But in the days to follow, your environment will change that. Fact is, you won’t make it through life unscathed. You’ll get sick, you’ll lose people, you’ll be hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. But you know what? You’ll pick yourself back up and keep going. Everyone does it. And you’ll keep doing it over and over again.

2.) The things you worry most about may never happen.

So stop obsessing over a grand piano that may never fall out of the sky and on top of your head. A shark won’t eat you while you’re swimming in an ocean. You won’t flunk out of college. You won’t accidentally eat a poisonous berry. You don’t have ebola, and for the record, you may never get ebola. Oh, yeah: your car won’t break down in the middle of nowhere, either. And if it does, you’ll be fine.

Relax.

3.) It’s bigger than social media.

I’m not one to record my whole life on social media anyway, but you’ll drive yourself crazy “competing” with your friends to see who is having the most fun, or who has more adventures, or who has more popularity. That stuff doesn’t even matter, and all of these social sites will eventually become obsolete, just like MySpace.

4.) It’s not a competition.

Again, comparing yourself to others will drive you crazy. Everyone’s journey is different, and no one has a clue what the other person’s is about. At the end of the day, the only person you need to compete with is yourself. Yes, out-do yourself each and every day. Progress: be better, do better, act better and love better than you did the day before. Beat your old self.

5.) It’s relatively short.

Don’t waste time on trivial bullshit; it’s not worth it. At odds with someone? Fix that shit. Got something on your chest? Get it off. Have a long-term goal? Keep working until you reach it. Furthermore, forgive yourself for all of your faults, slip-ups and mishaps. What’s the point in regretting stuff when you still have more experiences coming your way? Plus, you’ll miss out on so many memories holding on to useless baggage. Let it go, because before you know it, your time will be up. Then you’ll really have something to regret.

6.) Love makes the world go ’round.

Not cash. Not men. Not women. It’s love that makes everything continue to grow, evolve and recreate. Love is what inspires; from love sprouts positivity and it feels good to live in an optimistic world, right? Even if THE world is full of strife and turmoil, make YOUR world a loving safe haven, and come up with ways to solve the problems you see around you. Keep the good karma going, and you’ll enjoy your life. I promise you.

7.) Life is what you make it.

Nuff said. 

So enjoy life as it is. You have a special, unique journey that is designed specifically for you, and you might as well enjoy it while you can!

Have a good one, y’all.