Many are up in arms about President Obama using the “N” word during a podcast interview with Marc Maron. The POTUS says, “The legacy of slavery, Jim Crow, discrimination in almost every institution of our lives, you know that casts a long shadow, and that’s not cured of it…and it’s not just a matter of it not being polite to say nigger in public, that’s not the measure of whether racism still exists or not. It’s not just a matter of overt discrimination…societies don’t overnight completely erase everything that happened 2-300 years prior.” Not so bad , right? It’s not like he was calling blacks niggas for no reason, he was making a valid point, however, many have taken the word out of context and feel as though Presidents shouldn’t be using that word.
Here’s how I feel; Obama is not the first President to use that word, he’s just the first to say it out loud. I’m sure he knows the consequences of his actions, but by him being the first African American President,if there was one that needed to say it first…it should be him, especially after what’s going on in the world right now. He was saying racism is not about white people saying nigger; it’s deeper than that. There is hatred deeply routed within those racist families that are being passed down from generation to generation and those offspring end up acting out and hurting an already oppressed people.
Another point Obama made was about cracking down on gun control in response to the Charleston massacre. Now, I’m all for gun control. I believe there should definitely being a more difficult process to get access to one than there is now. I believe that those who have guns and that don’t live alone should have to keep them under lock and code and hidden from children especially. I believe that those diagnosed with certain mental disorders shouldn’t own guns. I could go on and on about gun control issues, but that’s not the problem. Things like the Charleston tragedy cannot be prevented with gun control alone; this is an issue of race. Racist actions should be punished more harshly than they are, police included. Law enforcement needs to make more efforts in helping enforce racial equality in all corners of the country including the less fortunate areas. Crimes even as small as threats should be taken seriously.
Though we can’t stop racism, having the President on board for change is certainly a huge step. Black people have our eyes on him because he’s approaching his last year in office and he has little time to make a difference. With racists such as Donald Trump trying to swoop his way into office, he’s got to do something before it’s too late. So, no, I’m not upset that Obama used the “N” word. Maybe this will wake people up. Maybe this will provide some clarity. Maybe this will finally be the beginning of Obama taking verbal and physical action against the hideous racists of our country.
For those not so great days. It’s gonna get harder before it gets easier, but it will get better. You just have to make it through the hard stuff.
Are you a people pleaser? Can’t seem to find yourself saying no to people… if so, well you’re on the right page my friend. But wait… there’s more but you have to keep reading to find out.
Once again this week, I found myself in a situation where I said Yes when I really meant NOO. We’ve all been in the situation where someone asks you for a favor, your boss asks you to pick up a shift, or a friend asks to go out. You really want to say no but, you somehow end up finding yourself saying yess…Why? Because well if you’re like me I don’t like to disappoint people. But let’s face it… there has to come a point where we have to say No and enough is enough.
Stand up for yourself and stop letting people walk all over you… even if it’s your loved ones. I think we all tend to forget sometimes, people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
So here’s three little ways to help you from saying yes to people and starting to say no and sticking to it!
- Sometimes all you can say is, I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now. It’s okay for you to say that and not have to feel sorry for saying no and, quite frankly most reasonable people will accept this as an answer. So if someone keeps pressuring you and you start to feel like you’re about to crumble. It’s OK to just repeat I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t fit with my schedule, and change the subject, or even walk away if you have to.
- But if you’re like me where being blunt is not easy for you… it’s also, OK to say, Let me think about it and get back to you. This way you can really think about whether you want to say yes without feeling the pressure.
- And lastly, if you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time its fine to say, I can’t do this, but I can… and mention a lesser commitment that you can make.
Well, I hope this helps you in the direction of saying no and, if these three tips don’t work for you. That’s also okay there’s tons of other ways. Here’s a link I found on the Psych Central page for 21 tips to Stop being a People Pleaser. Check it out, you could learn a thing or two you could teach others or even yourself.
Ever like someone so much to the point in your head you thought you two were dating… yeah we’ve all been there. But how do you begin to move on and get over someone that well… wasn’t even yours to begin with. This is a something that I feel we all can relate to… even though we might not want to. . It’s like once you’ve been hurt, you’re so scared to get attached again, like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart. But…How can you get over someone you never had? Yeah they said hi to you sometimes, but did they ever notice you like you noticed them…probably not. You feel like they’re playing hard to get but no…sadly you can’t see that they’re just not that into you.
You may not act like it…but you want them more than anything you’ve ever wanted in your life. Even when you try to forget about them, they always come back. Either in person, through a text, a phone call, or just through your mind, it’s impossible.
Words can never say what you feel; it’s too intense you tried… tried to tell them how you feel, but you get mixed up soo mixed up your mind is blind at times you can’t see anyone but them, those other people don’t matter . You must make them understand….
Talking to them makes you happy. Talking to them turns a crappy day into a better day and it turns a great day into a fantastic day. But let’s be real, Sometimes it’s best to forget how you feel, and remember what you deserve.
Hello Stress, how are you today? Welcome to my life! Make yourself comfortable, I have a feeling you’re going to be here for a while.
Ever have one of those days, where you just feel like wow my life sucks.. Like you’re fine, but at the same time you’re not. Your friends ask you if you’re okay, but you get annoyed that they asked. However, you’re also secretly wanting someone to see you’re not okay. Well here’s a little word for your soul.. word’s you’re trying to get out but just can’t seem to.
You know that feeling when you’re just waiting, waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day, that feeling of both relief and desperation? Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either, and you’re tired, tired of everything, tired of nothing, and you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay, but no one’s going to be there, and you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting, tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else, tired of being strong, and for once, you just want it to be easy, to be simple, to be helped, to be saved, but you know you won’t be, but you’re still hoping and you’re still wishing and you’re still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.
Society now and days has shaped the minds of our generation into thinking that having sex is normal, hooking up is okay and you are free to live your life the way you see fit, but what does it say about celibacy? Now don’t get me wrong, it is your life and I do not approve of slut-shaming, but why are the people who decide to control their bodies shamed for their decisions?
In this new accepting culture, you would think that anything you want to do with your body is acceptable, but going against the norm is not.
I’m saying all of this from experience. I recently decided to make a change and become celibate. In return, this decision greatly improved my spiritual life. I found that if I wanted to continue to improve that lifestyle, I would have to give up my old one. This meant to stop drinking, smoking (hookah and weed), stop going to parties and stop having sex. While doing this, I was replacing the need of partying and drinking with other things in my life like devotionals, church, volunteering and doing things that would positively influence my life rather than hinder it. I found that in doing this, my “friends” took notice. I was no longer invited to parties or even asked to hang out in between classes. My “friends” wanted nothing to do with me as if my new lifestyle choices were contagious. They wanted nothing to do with the “church girl” because I had made the conscious decision to stop doing what everyone else loved and start being dedicated to the one person I do love: God. Of course I tried to include them on this journey with me and some agreed to go to church with me, but after the first time became their last time, I knew it was time to move on. Everyone has different life paths and I just started to find my own.
It sounds sad, but in this loss, I truly gained my own piece of mind and was able to thrive in my spiritual life.
All of this is to say if your celibate, and not just from sex (it can be from anything that society deems normal), then keep doing what you’re doing. You will find that people will not approve of what you’re decisions, but at the end of the day, if you’re doing whats right you will gain so much more freedom and piece of mind. And you will forget you were ever missing something in the first place.
So many times, in life, we limit ourselves for one reason or another. We tell ourselves “no” before we even give someone else a chance to. Why is it that we stop ourselves from reaching our full potential? We tell ourselves, “No, I’m too young,” “No, I’m not smart enough,” “No, I do not have the resources.” “No” and “can’t” are the barriers that we place in front of us which keeps us from progressing in life. So, why do we continue to block great things from happening when it all it takes is the courage to say “yes I can.”
Lack of confidence is not something that only a few people experience. There will come a point in everyone’s life when you feel that you cannot achieve a goal that you’re passionate about. Nevertheless, you should not let this lack of confidence prevent you from doing what will bring you fulfillment in life. If Oprah told herself “no,” would she be as successful as she is today? If Obama told himself “no,” would he be the first African American President of the United States? You never know what path you could embark on, so why stop yourself from taking on that journey?
YOU are the only person that can hold you back from reaching higher heights. It is up to YOU to make things happen in your life and no one can make that impossible except for YOU. Think about it; we as individuals have the power to change the world, but we do not use this power because we become so stuck in our comfort zone. Challenge yourself to replace the words “no” and “can’t” with “yes” and “I can.” Once you make that simple step, sit back and watch the doors to your future begin to open!
Michaela C., Associate Editor